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I miss you, I'll never forget you. Hey, I'm Estelle, ends with a Teh. I'm definitely an ass, with brains. I don't love books, but words, Got what I mean? No :D I'm random, epic failure and success, weirdo, who goes POP! :D I love my guitar, 060310!♥, My best buddy whenever I'm upset. I don't bite/bark, I'm friendly! :) I love Boys Like Girl, Paramore and Secondhand Serenade, and I love my band. My biggest dream, yet deepest nightmare is LOVE.
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I'm not over you.
Thursday, February 25, 2010
It's 11.40pm, and I'm still wide awake.Can someone just tell me that you guys truly understands me? Hais. I somehow don't get it. I called him a bastard because of those lies, yet in heart, I still do care about him, and sometimes, I even mummbled his name out, OUT OF NOWHERE. I promised you guys that I'll be happy, I'm very sorry, I break my promise. I cannot do it. My happiness is like not going up, it's been going down. Estelle, no matter what, smile like you used to. I'm very tiredtiredtired, can anyone sense it? I know everyone's EYES are like paying a whole lot of attention to me. I know! Because every teacher had been asking me what happened. Every minute, I keep thinking about you, 9 months of relationship, how am I suppose to give up that easily? Everyone is telling me, NOT WORTH, but to me, it worth like a million/billion/zillion, it's totally worth my whole life. Why ain't I giving up? My heart isn't. My heart is still holding on to this 9 months relationship. Estelle, why? *Trying to convince myself to let go* Sorry, I can't. I can't let go. It's too painful. I miss him, do you guys know? Every smile I had shows how much pain I had. I'm still not over you, Boy. I miss you alot, Boy. I love you alot, Boy. I just want to see you, Boy. Should I just jump down? (Crapz, Impossible, Girl) I cannot let go. P/s, after seeing what is written on *ahem's blog* I seriously don't know what to do. The first thing I do, cry. Estelle, can stop crying? I feel like digging my eyeballs out. Seriously, who wouldn't get upset, If your boyfriend, probably ex, whom you still haven't like get over, likes another girl? You like it? No right?! I know how upset it is. And I sincerely apologized to Nadhirah. I'm sorry. Joshua obvously likes *ahem* Hais, Estelle get over it. - To state the facts, I'm so sorry to tell you this, I still love him, I love him alot. I couldn't bear to let go. I feel like just jumping down, my parents think I'm hopeless.
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